There's nothing wrong with a man crush. But you're going to pull your hair out over it until you figure things out. Ask him out to lunch since you 2 work together? It doesn't by any means have to be a "nice" place since it's not a "date". But don't confront him directly either. Ask if he's interested in guys? Maybe he feels he's "done his time" as a straight guy & had a girl to please family? You don't know their situation until you play the roll of the but-inski & find out. Now go, Subway, McDonalds, somewhere.

What your feeling and what he is feeling may be 2 different things, rarely the same. You may be reading it wrong . If he is not involved in the gay world (newbie) he may not be able to comprehend hiv scenarios/acceptance. What is there to pursue if you don't know for sure? I mean you may be making it more than what it actually is. Your taking a gamble on being hurt, embarrassed, losing him as a friend, uncomfortable situation in your work environment etc... I have maintained friendships with my straight friends because I didn't mention the crush I had on them. I didn't want to gamble the loss of our friendship which outweighed my crush. I accepted that. And if he is new to the gay scene, a person with HIV may be totally out of context for him to sort out. You know we have sexual limitations, thats our deal not his. Truely. Your situation may be a lot of 'baggage" for him to accept in a healthy manner. Once things are said, there is no going back. I put my crushes in the crush basket and move on. No matter what you do, you have to weigh out the consequences and accept them either way. I don't want you to get hurt either. Im just being real and not insensitive. Were all men here. I wish you the best.

Why can’t finding the right man be easy without all these obstacles and what ifs. It’s so nice to read that you have these feelings for a man you don’t know is straight or gay or bi for that matter. These feelings are good and life makes us so weary and I tend to hold back right now. I don’t want to sound negative, pardon the pun but my worry is, is he educated about HIV. My past experience wasn’t good with a man who was gay but not really out when I told him. He eventually asked to meet me for lunch to talk it through and apologized and wanted to try but he just couldn’t. It wasn’t my fault and clearly he was uneducated but the fear got the best of him. Just be careful. I would hate you to get hurt because you truly seem like a good hearted guy who deserves to be happy. All the best.

I'm a hopeless romantic so I say go for it. Remember you work together so don't push to hard that you disrupt the work relationship. Casually let him know that you're gay and see how responds. Then pursue a friendship because you don't want to cheat yourself out of a good friendship. If he likes you that way he will make the first move or open the door to a romantic relationship but he doesn't know how to come out good luck.

I also have little crush on work colleague and again he acts differently around me when alone.....but on a serious note we need to step back on these guys lol hard I know but in the long run we can’t wait around either.....maybe moving on trying not to pay much attention might trigger something in him... with hiv we’re going to have trouble or issues even with another gay man and relationships.