I also have dealt with shame for years. As a former, PTSD counselor I found some tools that helped others and as I finally, took me a long time, applied them to myself I have made good progress in gaining strength inside myself and am more able to catch myself, recognize triggers and change my thoughts to be more positive and less affected by my life long shame, gay, christian, and with HIV. I am sharing a website that goes all the way back to Carl Jung an early therapist. This has to be adapted to each person individually but the basics are good start from.
https://liveboldandbloom.com/06/self-confidence...

No sirve para nada, reconócelo, acéptalo y luego solucionalo. Me he beneficiado de personas como Brene Brown y de una gran cantidad de información coherente y eficaz que existe. Todos los días estamos creando un nuevo universo y la vida y los apegos pasados desaparecen. Además, perdonar no es liberarlos, sino liberarse a uno mismo. Últimamente leí una práctica: ve a algún lugar que te guste en tu mente, como tu playa favorita. Mira a esa persona que te hizo daño. Grítales todo el dolor que causaron, diles que no te dejaré continuar con eso y aléjate (toda visualización)

It doesn't serve any purpose, acknowledge it, accept it then work through it. I have benefitted from folks like Brene Brown and a wealth of consistent and effective info out there. Everyday we are creating a new universe and life and past attachments are gone. Also, forgiving isn't letting them off the hook-it's liberating yourself. I read a practice lately-go somewhere you like in your mind like a favorite beach. See that person that harmed you. Yell at them all the hurt they caused, say I won't let you continue that anymore and walk away (all visualization)

yes i was alone and started dating and i told the guy i really liked i was hiv-+ and he said he was ok with it so we dated a few weeks and everything seemed fine, until one nite he came over and i wanted him to stay over cause he had been drinking so we went to bed and didnt really fool around the morning came and i wanted him to be with me but he was so cold u would think i had a bad open sore on me not to touch me, i had never felt so useless and so rejected by anyone, it seemed he was ok with my problem and didnt think of my feeelings just his, and ever since then i have never dated again due to the rejection of being hurt and not even communicating with me. he never called or nothing i saw him a few weeks and he could not face me and left , i hears it through one of my friends that he wasnt ready to date a person with hiv wow, and he couldnt be honest with me so yes the hiv rejection still does continue....

Keeping to your self is whats the shame.keep yourself out the question just ask how they feel about people that have HIV see what they say . but if they love you they will still love you and if they walk they didnt love you to start.

I completely relate i dont feel secure enough to share with most of my family and close friends