Since being diagnosed in 1994, all my partners have been negative. I've always been honest and upfront with my status once I became educated. No stigma, nothing thrown in my face, always used protection. The most important thing is to educate, educated, educate...

One thing I do now after learning my lesson with a HIV- man that I dated for about a year tryed to say that I did not inform him of my status but I had other HIV- and HIV+ friends to back me up. Now if I am going to date or have sexual relationship with someone I take them to my doctors and if they say they have not been tested I get them tested and if they say they are HIV- I take them to one of my appointments and have it documented by the release of info form they have to sign normally or have your doctor write it in the notes that they came with you to an appointment where they were informed. That is fool proof!

I think you need to meet new people! Don't date someone who may consider using it against you... although I'm not sure how that may legally happen, don't put up with ANYONE who doesn't treat you with love and RESPECT!!

I knew about that study. Even with those findings, my partner of twenty years us still negative and I won't risk unprotected...

I had the same fear/concern when I was first diagnosed, but now would say that there isn't a need to limit yourself based on the status of the other person. The kind of person who would use HIV as leverage against you legally (I assume you mean lie and press charges saying you didn't disclose) is in a incredible minority. The amount of effort and money to press false charges with the risk of it not working and being counter-sued would deter most people, and you could probably get an idea if they would be that kind of person before you do anything physical. Like, when you disclose your status see how they react. You're opening up about something personal and real, they should respond in a caring way. If they don't, fuck 'em (figuratively).

Yeah, being positive means you may have to be more selective, but it doesn't mean you have to cut 99.999% of the dating pool. In fact (though I can't find a source), I've heard most HIV+ who are in relationships are with someone who is negative.

If you're concerned about transmission, the best way to lower the risk is to take your medications as prescribed. In fact, a recent study called the PARTNERs trial which looked at couples with one HIV+ and one HIV- having unprotected sex over 2 years found that with an undetectable viral load there were no instances of transmission (Journal of the American Medical Association: http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-ab..., less scientific http://www.aidsmap.com/No-one-with-an-undetecta...). Of course, condoms and PrEP are sill the best ways to further reduce risk of transmission.

All that said, if you're still concerned and want physical proof of disclosure you can always have a text conversation. If you have a smart phone, you could even remove their contact so it shows their phone number and take a screen shot of the conversation so there's no doubt about who you were talking to.

If you still only want to date someone who is positive, poz.com has a classified dating section that may be worth checking out.

Truth: being positive means you'll get turned down more, simply because of your status, but it doesn't mean you have to live in fear of someone destroying you're life. Of course, do what makes you comfortable and happy, but don't let HIV keep you from living your life.