Forgive not for someone else but for your ownself and your mind will be free.

There's no expectation that you do. Especially if you were in a relationship. Because they made a commitment to you. At the very minimum they weren't protecting you by not brining anything home. I've forgiven, but it was on my terms. Accepting responsibility for sleeping with my damn near husband was not a good answer for me. Let your anger run it's course. Your only human.

Seguro que es toba. Mi pareja de 21,5 años solía decirme que si me contagiaba, estaba bien porque yo era a quien amaba.

It’s tuff for sure. My partner of 21.5 years use to tell me if he caught it from me it was ok because I was the one he loved.

En primer lugar, debes decirte a ti mismo que eres VIH positivo. Eres responsable de tus propios actos en todo momento y también de tener relaciones sexuales sin condón. Todos conocemos las excusas de un condón roto. Los hombres no contraen el VIH por una mamada o un beso, simplemente tuviste sexo sin condón y recibiste esperma anal y estabas allí para tomar esa decisión.

En los Países Bajos nadie tiene por qué inventar la historia del condón roto. Siempre escuchamos esa excusa y aquí no caemos en ella. Simplemente les decimos a los pacientes qué es, y les puede gustar o no, pero aquí somos muy directos y decimos lo que pensamos.

Las excusas están para poder culpar a alguien más y sentirte bien, pero al final te tienes a ti mismo con ello y ese buen sentimiento se va porque sabes muy bien que eres responsable de tus propios actos en la vida.

First of all, you have to tell yourself that you are HIV positive. You are responsible for your own actions at all times and also to have sex without a condom. We all know the excuses of a torn condom. Men don't get HIV from a blowjob or kissing, you just had bareback sex and you received anal sperm and you were there to make that choice.

In the Netherlands, no one has to come up with the broken condom story. We always hear that excuse and we don't fall for it here. We just tell the patients what it is, and they may like it or dislike it, but here we are very direct and say what we think.

The excuses are there to be able to blame someone else and make yourself feel good, but in the end you have yourself with it and that good feeling goes away because you know very well that you are responsible for your own actions in life.

Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes impossible. It's a step we have to take to heal, just as we deal with grief. It takes time. It comes in steps. Unforgiveness only hurts ourselves. It does nothing to the guilty party. No, you can't just do it. Doesn't work that way. Holding onto it will not change things. In my experience, I had to forgive myself before I could forgive someone else. Hope this makes sense and hope it helps