Dennis, your question is something most of us experience occasionally, or have at times, or ARE RIGHT NOW! for me, it comes and goes. Mostly now it's not a problem, but I have some really cool opportunities to be involved with people and help them create something unique. Usually it's something about music. Helping people do something they've "always wanted to do." So, I guess as long as we're living, we might as well agree that "life is for living" and LIVE! Hang in there, bud. And make sure there's "me time" every now and then. And when there is, ENJOY IT! And don't feel guilty about enjoying it. Ok, grandpa rant done! Happy Fourth day of Christmas.

It can be exhausting, but I try to read through the questions. I will say this, I don't allow it to rule me. Same as the disease itself. I've been positive for 30 years and occasionally I choose not to be held hostage by it. No-one says you need to think about it daily and it doesn't make you a bad person to take a mental break from this. Answer when you're ready, ignore it if you need a me day... We're here so you can vent, and help if you need. Not for you to feel obligated or stress out if you don't answer every single question. Just relax.

Those are hard lessons, Renard. I'm SO glad you've learned them. And that you SURVIVED your suicide attempt. I have one of those, too, about 20 years ago at a REALLY tough - I thought - spot in my coming out/divorce process. Hugs, man. And useful? YEAH! Happy New Year to you and yours.

When i was first diagnosed and after the initial shock and depression, i jumped head first into a lot of Hiv organizations and groups, at ont time there was a meeting to go to almost every day. I learned a lot, met a lot of new people and overall had a great time. DRAWBACK, my health. I was going so much i began neglection myself. It all came to a head when my Mom passed and that drove me into a dark depression and attempted suicide. It took me almost 10 years and lots of therapy but i fiinally came out of it with a new sense of being. ME FIRST. I will asist your orgasnization if i have time and energy after taking care of me and my needs first. I will donate to your organization after i have taken care of MY FINANCiAL NEEDS FIRST,. I wiil gladly be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear and be there when you need me as long as MY MENTALITY IS STRONG AND HEALTHY. YOU should be the most important person that you are looking out for. Don't get so bogged down that life is no longer enjoyable and just becomes one task after another. Take some GUILT FREE ME TIME and enjoy it to the fullest. When you are happy and taken well care of, the other things become more enjoyable.

ran527 This is why we are here. I predict as you get used to taking advantage of the site, you too will begin to contribute ans help others as i hope you will be helped by us.